Restart

I havent signed in to blogger for so long...I couldnt remember my password!

So much has happend in the last one month. Well not really. I just went home...thats all. I shouldnt say I went home, because I was hardly ever home. Too many dawats, too many weddings and too much shopping. Regardless of all that, it was fun!

Home has changed a lot though. Infact everyone has changed. The house screams the fact that Dadiamma isnt there. I dont think it was a good idea going to her grave. Before I went to her grave it was just the feeling of missing her. But after I saw her grave it was so much worse. Not only is she not in the house, but shes in the graveyard. I mean I couldve spent the rest of my life picturing her sitting in her chair in the verandah. Now I will spend the rest of my life imagining her in her grave. And the worst part of it all is that I keep on dreaming about the trip to the graveyard.

Dhaka is fun...and disgusting. The extreme consumer-crazy-society is absolutely disgusting. The amount of money being thrown around on superficial materialism is sickening. I dont understand how people remain so oblivious to the poverty and helplessness all over the country. Although I understand its easier for me to see things differently being away from it all. I guess you grow up to be more and more selfish when stuck in 'the system'. But its still disgusting. By all means, the whole country somehow does seem to be moving forward, I dont know in what way though! Things seem so much more accessible than before. Things get done quicker than before. I actualy enjoy being in Dhaka. I mean yes, Rajshahi is a lot more pleasant and comfy and relaxing, but Dhaka is where things get done! Its the functional place! Or maybe I like it better there cos my friends are there. Well I still have friends in Rajshahi, but I relate to them less and less everytime I go there. Sad. Maybe I dont make sense. Maybe I grew up too soon. Culture clash. Getting mature ( or immature!). Growing up. Weird things.

I had an unpleasant conversation with Rangon today. I guess it was too early to tell her I dont think her boyfriend is competent enough to take responsibility! Ouch. Im mean sometimes. But some people need to hear the truth before getting hurt way too much. But now I feel bad, cos she's not in a very stable point in life right now. Im such a meany! Sa-MEAN!!!!

La la la la...Im kinda enjoying being back in school! People my age. Friends I havent seen in a looong time! Copying pre labs! haha! Havent done that in a while! But its SOOOO Stressful. Its definitely a lot more stressful thatn co op. Im glad by the way that my summer placement is settled and I didnt even have to go through the process of applying:D yay.

omg Im such a slacker sometimes. I planned on praying 5 times today...I missed every single one of them! I was on the phone 4 continuous hours today. But Im done calling everyone I had to call. So back to lab reports and project presentations.