Desperation and Anxiety

When you hit a dead end and think theres no way out...there really is no way out. You have to convince yourself first that this is NOT infact a dead end, and things will work out on their own. I am at the verge of giving up on my project. It makes no sense to me. I have no idea what I am doing, and I dont have enough hours in the day to spend on the stupid cadence design. To summarize...I am scared out of my mind.

Lessons I have learnt recently include giving up micro management ( not everything will go my way), and to let myself be concerned about problems that are real. i.e. dont be concerned about the fact that your eye brows arent done the night before the bsa dinner. Instead be concerned about things like why Dhaka city is consuming so much electricity on lighting up the streets for important people coming into town, who could unless otherwise stated completely care less about illuminated lights, and focus more on providing stable power supply to its residents. But then again concerning myself on large scare issues like that are just as useless as me being concerned about my eye brows the night before the bsa dinner!

I tend to procrastinate to the point where I hit the wall and cant move any further back. That is exactly where I am at this point in time. Exhausted, burnt out, and a complete wreck having no sleep or proper food since the begining of Ramadan. Infact so many exciting things are passing me by ( masumas engagement, marias bridal shower) and I am totally numb and reactionless to it all. I feel like a machine running on a spare battery or something.Im surprised my body can take this much junk food without falling sick! That makes me wonder if humans actually have the ability to control physical health. I mean, maybe my mind is not letting my body fall sick, because I simply dont have time to fall sick right now!

Enough ramblings. I am totally not prepared for tomorows presentation, and I think the best way to go is to excuse myself from it saying Im not prepared and ask for the marks to be added to the final presentation or something. My mind is totally blocked and theres no way Im making 7 slides now. I need a break...fresh air.