so...Im thinking this blog should be revived again...

revival of the blog

So apparently there is a secret society called the Bilderberg who rule the world ( but we dont know it). So random! There was a whole bunch of people standing outside the Brookstreet hotel today to get a glimpse of the secret people. I found the rumours and the speculations very entertaining. Two guys waiting for the bus with me apparently believed that Angelina Jolie was a part of the Bilderberg, and that she really wasnt in Namibia right now...she is infact right here in Kanata. Haha...entertaining wait for the bus indeed.

So much has happened since the last time I blogged...the idea of getting married can be a lot of pressure. I used to think it wasnt a big deal and that its just like getting a new job...new people, new manager, new environment. But its so much more than all that. I think the pre-wedding complications are the worst. The extreme anxiousness of the families meeting each other for the first time. The negotiations between the two families. The random gondogol between the families. The anticpation. The anxiety. The excitement. Its all totally overwhelming. I must say that the shopping is loads of fun. But the planning part is the scariest. Not the actual wedding planning, cos of course thats being taken care of. The planning after the wedding. The move. The new life. The responsibilities. Im totally looking forward to it:D No more crazy room mates. No more sharing the refrigerator with and washroom with 5 people. 2 people is good..its a lot less crowded:) Im a bit nervous about moving to Toronto though. I never thought of living there. Its like hell city for me. The huge-ness of it is so intimidating. Yes, I know it will be ok when I move there. But I have a habit of stressing about stuff anyways.

My new Donald Trump-ish job is SO exciting. It sucks that its part time though. I love being a consultant...a LOT more than being a regular hi techie person:D I wish I could quit my regular job and work for the foundry program all the time:) THe people are so much fun, and so passionate about what they do...its great!

Words of wisdom: Flying monkeys will take over the world soon. Untill then...nitenite!

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Just when I thought it couldnt get any worse...it did. Im so sick..its bizzarre. But YAY....AMMUS COMING TO STAY WITH ME FOR A MONTH:D:D:D:D:D:D:D Its weird how bad things end up in a good way:)

I am finally trying to look beyond my degree...and trying to learn how to live with alternatives. Life becomes a lot easier when you lower your expectations from it.

I spent 3 hours on the phone with my Aunt today. My Aunt and I mostly disagree about everything under the sun...but I always make it look like I agree with her. Haha! No point in starting an argument which I know I wont win. So same ol same ol...3 hours of nothing much.

Im looking forward to going home in August. I need to recharge myself every now and then by going home. I also need to jump start that stupid sanitation project. Man its so hard to work with people in Bangladesh. No I rephrase. People are ok. Its the youth that I dont understand. I mean, Ive been trying to get this group of people to do stuff..like get info and all...its been 6 months now, and they cant get me a stupid spreadsheet from the mayor's office. Uggh. Apparently they are 'busy'. But Im busy too dammit. If I can make the time to do something good for the people of THEIR city..why the hell do they not want to co operate????

I am currently on a mission. A mission to reach out to the stinkin rich people (kids,students,youth) of Bangladesh to spend a measely amount of money on doing something for their own people. Cos to be honest, yes it is all Bangladeshi peoples' responsibility to do something for Bangladesh...but then again...why should I be raising funds here...when I know for sure that there are at least 50 families in bangladesh who can afford to pay for food and living expenses for a whole bunch of villages. So my mission now is to get the rich people IN bangladesh to pay for the less fortunate. I feel like Robin Hood. Only...I wont be stealing. Have to find a legit way...

Tangible Happiness

Allah will not give me a burden I am not capable of handling. So apparently life is exactly what I deserve.
Friday night was fun. Ten girls in one house can be pretty crazy. And it was. I havent eaten so much in a long long time! Infact we all overate! I cant wait for this semester to end. I absolutely and completely dislike school.
But Im pretty sure it will end very soon...but untill it ends...I shall keep on complaining!
What does this post have to do with its title? Nothing really.

Im so sick and tired of school. Sick of engineering. Sick of doing something I really dont enjoy doing. Sick of being stuck with engineering. Sick of not knowing what I can do to get out of engineering. Sick of knowing that I wasted 4.5 years of my life on engineering. Sick of hearing people tell me Im doing well in school, so this is what I should do for the rest of my life. Sick of feeling that its my fault I dont like what Im doing. Just sick of everything. But I guess life is still good in so many other ways! The glass must always be half full...ALWAYS.

Rang De Basanti

Sometimes I wish people were given two chances...not just one. One life to live what is practical and financially wise. Another one to live your dreams, your emotions, and basically follow your heart. As it is now, I end up following my brain more than my heart.

For those who left home to experience the comforts of the west, Rang De Basanti is definitely an eye opener. Actually no. Its not an eye opener. Its like a this big crashing sensation. Suddenly things arent the same anymore. Suddenly you want to leave it all and go back. Well not necessarily go back, but rethink your life today. Am I really doing what I am passionate about? And underneath it all..what is it really that I am passionate about? I wanna just pack up and go home. But practically...I really cant :( ughh.

Reading week...yay.

Restart

I havent signed in to blogger for so long...I couldnt remember my password!

So much has happend in the last one month. Well not really. I just went home...thats all. I shouldnt say I went home, because I was hardly ever home. Too many dawats, too many weddings and too much shopping. Regardless of all that, it was fun!

Home has changed a lot though. Infact everyone has changed. The house screams the fact that Dadiamma isnt there. I dont think it was a good idea going to her grave. Before I went to her grave it was just the feeling of missing her. But after I saw her grave it was so much worse. Not only is she not in the house, but shes in the graveyard. I mean I couldve spent the rest of my life picturing her sitting in her chair in the verandah. Now I will spend the rest of my life imagining her in her grave. And the worst part of it all is that I keep on dreaming about the trip to the graveyard.

Dhaka is fun...and disgusting. The extreme consumer-crazy-society is absolutely disgusting. The amount of money being thrown around on superficial materialism is sickening. I dont understand how people remain so oblivious to the poverty and helplessness all over the country. Although I understand its easier for me to see things differently being away from it all. I guess you grow up to be more and more selfish when stuck in 'the system'. But its still disgusting. By all means, the whole country somehow does seem to be moving forward, I dont know in what way though! Things seem so much more accessible than before. Things get done quicker than before. I actualy enjoy being in Dhaka. I mean yes, Rajshahi is a lot more pleasant and comfy and relaxing, but Dhaka is where things get done! Its the functional place! Or maybe I like it better there cos my friends are there. Well I still have friends in Rajshahi, but I relate to them less and less everytime I go there. Sad. Maybe I dont make sense. Maybe I grew up too soon. Culture clash. Getting mature ( or immature!). Growing up. Weird things.

I had an unpleasant conversation with Rangon today. I guess it was too early to tell her I dont think her boyfriend is competent enough to take responsibility! Ouch. Im mean sometimes. But some people need to hear the truth before getting hurt way too much. But now I feel bad, cos she's not in a very stable point in life right now. Im such a meany! Sa-MEAN!!!!

La la la la...Im kinda enjoying being back in school! People my age. Friends I havent seen in a looong time! Copying pre labs! haha! Havent done that in a while! But its SOOOO Stressful. Its definitely a lot more stressful thatn co op. Im glad by the way that my summer placement is settled and I didnt even have to go through the process of applying:D yay.

omg Im such a slacker sometimes. I planned on praying 5 times today...I missed every single one of them! I was on the phone 4 continuous hours today. But Im done calling everyone I had to call. So back to lab reports and project presentations.